“Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.”
Critics: Roger Ebert on Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005), Chicago Sun-Times
20 quotes in Critics tagged savage
Clear filters“Young men: If you attend this crap with friends who admire it, tactfully inform them they are idiots. Young women: If your date likes this movie, tell him you’ve been thinking it over, and you think you should consider spending some time apart.”
Critics: Roger Ebert on Battle: Los Angeles (2011), Chicago Sun-Times
“I’m curious about who would go to see this movie. Obviously moviegoers with a low opinion of their own taste. It’s so obviously what it is that you would require a positive desire to throw away money in order to lose two hours of your life. ‘Sorority Boys’ will be the worst movie playing in any multiplex in America this weekend, and, yes, I realize ‘Crossroads’ is still out there.”
Critics: Roger Ebert on Sorority Boys (2002), Chicago Sun-Times
“This movie doesn’t scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn’t the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn’t below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn’t deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels….The film is a vomitorium consisting of 93 minutes of Tom Green doing things that a geek in a carnival sideshow would turn down.”
Critics: Roger Ebert on Freddy Got Fingered (2001), Chicago Sun-Times
“‘Battlefield Earth’ is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It’s not merely bad; it’s unpleasant in a hostile way.”
Critics: Roger Ebert on Battlefield Earth (2000), Chicago Sun-Times
“‘Mad Dog’ Time is the first movie I have seen that does not improve on the sight of a blank screen viewed for the same length of time. Oh, I’ve seen bad movies before. But they usually made me care about how bad they were. Watching Mad Dog Time is like waiting for the bus in a city where you’re not sure they have a bus line.”
Critics: Roger Ebert on Mad Dog Time (1996), Chicago Sun-Times
“I hated this movie. Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.”
Critics: Roger Ebert on North (1994), Chicago Sun-Times
“Many films are bad. Only a few declare themselves the work of people deficient in taste, judgment, reason, tact, morality, and common sense. Was there no one connected with this project who read the screenplay, considered the story, evaluated the proposed film and vomited?”
Critics: Roger Ebert on Last Rites (1988), Chicago Sun-Times
“That makes ‘Hellbound: Hellraiser II’ an ideal movie for audiences with little taste and atrophied attention spans who want to glance at the screen occasionally and ascertain that something is still happening up there. If you fit that description, you have probably not read this far, but what the heck, we believe in full-service reviews around here. You’re welcome.”
Critics: Roger Ebert on Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988), Chicago Sun-Times
“‘Caligula’ is sickening, utterly worthless, shameful trash. If it is not the worst film I have ever seen, that makes it all the more shameful: People with talent allowed themselves to participate in this travesty. Disgusted and unspeakably depressed, I walked out of the film after two hours of its 170-minute length.”
Critics: Roger Ebert on Caligula (1979), Chicago Sun-Times
“Tonstant Weader fwowed up.”
Critics: Dorothy Parker on The House at Pooh Corner by A. A. Milne (1928), The New Yorker
“Cats is the biggest disaster of the decade, and possibly thus far in the millennium. It's Battlefield Earth with whiskers.”
Critics: Adam Graham on Cats (2019), The Detroit News
“Sie schildern ein Treffen mit Uwe Johnson. Sie schildern es wunderbar. Das kann keiner besser als Sie. Aber es sind nur fünf Seiten von 781.”
Critics: Marcel Reich-Ranicki on Ein weites Feld by Günter Grass (1995), Der Spiegel (in German)
“It's terrible, though in such a bizarre way, unique even, that it might have prospects as a cult book, or at any rate an enduring curiosity. But I wouldn't bet on it.”
Critics: Owen Richardson on List of the Lost by Morrissey (2015), The Sydney Morning Herald
“It probably isn't possible for a single movie to reverse all social progress made since the civil-rights era, but Norbit, the latest broadside from Eddie Murphy, does its best to turn back the clock.”
Critics: Scott Tobias on Norbit (2007), The A.V. Club
“If the Red Hot Chili Peppers acoustically covered the 12 worst Primus songs for Starbucks, it would still be (slightly) better than this.”
Critics: Chuck Klosterman on Lou Reed & Metallica – Lulu (2011), Grantland
“What is this? Crap. Say it loud: Crap.”
Critics: Anthony Lane on Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999), The New Yorker
“It is decorated in various shades of taupe, biscuit and fuck you. There's a little gilt here and there, to remind us that this is a room designed for people for whom guilt is unfamiliar.”
Critics: Jay Rayner on Le Cinq, Paris (2017), The Observer
“Mr. Patterson and Mr. Choi seem to have thought about the social dimensions of fast food so much that they now see their target audience as problems to be solved, not customers to be pleased. The most nutritious burger on earth won't help you if you don't want to eat it.”
Critics: Pete Wells on Locol, Oakland (2017), The New York Times
“Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?”
Critics: Pete Wells on Guy's American Kitchen & Bar, New York (2012), The New York Times