“I only make $6.25/hr at Jack In The Box, but I saved up for three months so I could have this cable. It sits in a shrine I constructed next to my futon in Mother's basement.”
Customer reviews: Anonymous reviewer on Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable, Amazon
“I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.”
Customer reviews: Anonymous reviewer on Uranium Ore, Amazon
“Has anyone else tried pouring this stuff over dry cereal? A-W-E-S-O-M-E!”
Customer reviews: J. Fitzsimmons on Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, Amazon
“For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. “Use a knife!” they say. Well … my parole officer won’t allow me to be around knives.”
Customer reviews: SW3K on Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer, Amazon
“Finally! For years I've had to rely on pencils, or at worst, a twig and some drops of my feminine blood to write down recipes (the only thing a lady should be writing ever).”
Customer reviews: breemeup on BIC Cristal For Her ballpoint pen, Amazon
“Sie schildern ein Treffen mit Uwe Johnson. Sie schildern es wunderbar. Das kann keiner besser als Sie. Aber es sind nur fünf Seiten von 781.”
Critics: Marcel Reich-Ranicki on Ein weites Feld by Günter Grass (1995), Der Spiegel (in German)
“It's terrible, though in such a bizarre way, unique even, that it might have prospects as a cult book, or at any rate an enduring curiosity. But I wouldn't bet on it.”
Critics: Owen Richardson on List of the Lost by Morrissey (2015), The Sydney Morning Herald
“This cover version of Moussorgsky's mouldy oldie does have a big new beat, but you can't dance to it, and the instrumentation seems a bit spare. Anyway, the truth is that I don't even listen to the original much.”
Critics: Robert Christgau on Emerson, Lake & Palmer – Pictures at an Exhibition (1972), Christgau's Consumer Guide
“Thou hast to be kidding.”
Critics: Anthony Lane on The Scarlet Letter (1995), The New Yorker
“I won't soon forget the spectacle of watching the mummified Sidney rise from his wheelchair to kick an intruder, unaccountably dressed in a moose costume, in the groin.”
Critics: Frank Rich on Moose Murders (1983), The New York Times
“Mr. Patterson and Mr. Choi seem to have thought about the social dimensions of fast food so much that they now see their target audience as problems to be solved, not customers to be pleased. The most nutritious burger on earth won't help you if you don't want to eat it.”
Critics: Pete Wells on Locol, Oakland (2017), The New York Times