12 quotes in Customer reviews tagged deadpan

“Walked up to the Angel, looked at it, turned around, got back in the car. Only good thing was the parking was free. (It was a) waste of five minutes.”

“I only make $6.25/hr at Jack In The Box, but I saved up for three months so I could have this cable. It sits in a shrine I constructed next to my futon in Mother's basement.”

“For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. “Use a knife!” they say. Well … my parole officer won’t allow me to be around knives.”

“Finally! For years I've had to rely on pencils, or at worst, a twig and some drops of my feminine blood to write down recipes (the only thing a lady should be writing ever).”